Dr. Phil said...
WARNING!!!!!!!!!!
This comment is not for the weak minded, bent kneed, pussyfooted Southern Baptists who excuse hypocrisy. Jesus beat the hell out of the Pharisees with a whip. I will be beating the hell of out Pastor Wes Kidney with my words.
Dr. Phil from Seattle here. My Master's in Psychology, Doctorate in Psychiatry, and multiple National Certifications in behavioral genetic dispositions certify my ability to interpret for ignorant Southern Baptists Pastor Wes Kidney's absurd statement justifying the time stamp changes on his blog.
Before I interpret Pastor Wes Kidney's words, evaluating his mental health in the process, I make known my prayer for his wife. She needs God's mercy for her physical problem as much as Wes Kidney is in need of it for his spiritual problem.
But need I remind my fellow Southern Baptists that Mrs. Kidney's backsurgery has nothing to do with Pastor Kidney's backstabbing. Even the radical leftwing Americans for Disabilities Act (ADA) differentiates between a plaintiff's disability and the conduct resulting from that disability. Those seeking to let Pastor Kidney off the hook because of his wife are more liberal than the ADA, which won't let someone off for his own disabilities. People, quit talking about his wife in the same sentence. Christians excusing Pastor Kidney's horrible and intentional sin because of his wife's back is like a Christian man blaming his sin of adultery on his wife's boobs.
Enough said.
Now to the psycho-analysis. Pastor Kidney's words would be in yellow, for their bile if there were colors on blogger, but bold black shall represent their defilement. My expert translation of what Pastor Kidney's words mean follows --
(Time Stamp, SBC Today, 3:15 p.m. Central Time)
Uh huh. Right.
I’ve received several kind emails asking about the circumstances surrounding the closing of comments on the post containing my interview with Dr. Patterson.
Translation: Southern Baptists are spanking my butt for being an incredible hypocrite.
"Apparently, my actions have inadvertently touched off a bit of controversy,"
Translation: I never thought I'd be caught lying and backstabbing, much less caught trying to cover it up.
so I thought it would be good to make the facts of the incident available to all.
Translation: I am going to lie again to cover up my lies earlier.
My wife is undergoing major back surgery this week, and I’ll essentially be “moving” to a hotel in Oklahoma City tomorrow and remaining there through at least Saturday, so I won’t be able to interact here very much.
Translation: I don't want any questions. Heck, I got exposed by their questions the first time. What can I do to shut down dialogue? Got it! I'll use my wife!
Therefore, comments are not enabled for this post.
Translation: I sure hope they enough compassion to ignore the fact I won't take their questions.
I welcome your emails, and will respond to them as I have opportunity. Click here to contact me by email.
Translation: There ain't a snow ball's chance in hell I'm responding to anybody who doesn't believe me and please, dear Jesus, don't let anybody from Enid be able to read this post.
Middle of the day on Thursday, I began to realize that the comments on the interview post needed closing,
Translation: Heck, I never dreamed people would begin to question why Dr. Patterson would stumble all over himself trying to answer my question about terminating Calvinists.
but I didn’t ever get around to it, as I was trying to get ahead in light of next week.
Translation: Surely another mention of my wife will garner their sympathy.
As I got ready to go to bed Thursday night, a friend called and asked if I would, as a personal favor, close the comments.
Translation: Geez, I hope they don't realize my best friend is one of my multiple personalities.
I agreed, and asked my friend for suggestions on what to say in a comment explaining the closure.
Translation: Man, this is lame. But shoot, they'll believe anything.
The friend asked if they could think on it for a bit, and I agreed. I then immediately closed the comments and turned my attention to the television.
Translation: Dang, I forgot I just said I got ready to go to bed. Sheesh. "Hey, Wes, this is Reed, your favorite personality. You think the readers will catch the 'friend' is 'they?'
Something like an hour later, I received an email from the friend,
Translation: Oh criminy, here it goes . . . . I hope this works!!!!
asking if I would post a comment for them (as they could not post, since I’d already closed it) under their chosen pseudonym. The text of their desired comment was in the email. I returned to the site, logged myself out, posted my friend’s text as coming from “John 3:16,” then logged back in and replied to the comment’s request with the one-word response, “Granted.”
Translation: Sheesh. That really looks lame. Well, Southern Baptists are gullible. Please Lord, help me out.
I thought no more about it, as Friday was also a busy day, but mid-afternoon, I began to wonder if someone might not be tempted to think that “John 3:16″ was my own pseudonym because the two comments were so close in time.
Translation: I can't tell anyone I was actually reading the blog comments at Grace and Truth to You and discovered how stupid I was in trying to pose as John 3:16.
So I logged in to the site and moved the “John 3:16″ comment back an hour, roughly reflective of the time of their phone call.
Translation: That dang Byroniac. I could have given a much more believable explanation if he hadn't had the computer savvy to trace both comments to my personal computer
Later that afternoon, temptation got the better of me, and I wandered over to Wade Burleson’s blog,
Translation: I sure hope they catch that I'm using the word temptation to let everyone know Wade Burleson's blog is evil. Heck, I tried to say that in John 3:16's comment more directly but never dreamed they'd discover it was me.
where I discovered that the commenters, apparently having little else to do,
Translation: Those stupid idiots. They caught me. I'm going to try to blame them for what I did.
They had elevated this edit of timestamps to a conspiracy akin to the Kennedy assassination, with myself in the role of the grassy knoll rifleman.
Translation: How silly of them, it's only changing time stamps.
Well, my mischievous (sinful?) side then got the better of me, and I decided to enjoy myself a bit, randomly adjusting the timestamp on those two comments several times over the course of the evening.I was enjoying myself a bit too much.
Translation:I can't dare admit I was intentionally trying to confuse the heck out of everybody to think there was a problem with the server so I could get away scott free.
For my part, I’ve sworn off any contact with or acknowledgement of Wade Burleson and what he is doing.
Translation: That evil, no good, devil Wade Burleson.
We’ve installed a plugin that allows us to block IP addresses, and I’ve set it up to block the range of IP addresses Wade Burleson has used to comment on our site in the past.
Translation: That devil has an answer for everything. Worse, those Enid people hold me accountable when I attack their pastor's character. I can't answer their questions if I just block them from asking.
And, with God’s help, I’ll do my best never to visit Grace and Truth to You again.
Translation: God hates Wade Burleson. He loves me. Oh, God, save me from the devil himself!
I’ll do as I’ve done in the past, trying my best to write
Translation: Except an hour before bedtime. Sheesh. I hope they don't remember that little lie.
and facilitate blog posts that will serve the preservation of our biblical Baptist distinctives, but I’ll not be drawn in to this kind of silly controversy again.
Translation: Don't you dare question my character, that's silly. Just join my Baptist Identity circle of friends and all you have to do is believe the gospel. You don't have to live it like everybody else.
The End of the Lies
Dr. Phil's diagnosis.
Pastor Wes Kidney's illness is that of the worst kind. He has accused Pastor Burleson of changing time stamps. Pastor Kidney and Pastor Scott Boredom then falsely charged Pastor Burleson of lying when he denied the false charges. It twas then explained to the two moron pastors by other bloggers that you can't change time stamps on blogger.com site like you can on Kidney's and Boredom's Wordpress blog sites. However, there has been no apology for their false accusations. Their blatant lies against Pastor Burleson are still posted on the internet.
Now, Pastor Kidney is caught doing the very thing he falsely condemned another for doing. And instead of confessing his sin and rectifying his error, he justifies it. Some of you weak minded, bent kneed, pussyfooted Southern Baptists may forgive Pastor Kidney and Pastor Boredom, as it seems Pastor Burleson has done, but Dr. Phil learned a long time ago you don't bestow forgiveness until there is a confession of guilt.
Counter to what Mr. Kidney hopes you might think, the guilt hanging over his head like Damocles sword is not the guilt due to the silly little thing of changing time stamps. It is the very serious guilt of hypocrisy. Jesus used a whip to beat it out of the Pharisees. Dr. Phil uses his words.
Dr. Phil
Seattle, Washington
Now that Dr Phil sure is funny and very insightful.
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